


Kiss

by RedandLizzie



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lizzington - Freeform, Red/Lizzie, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2017-12-30 11:38:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedandLizzie/pseuds/RedandLizzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz goes undercover as Red's lover. Mature rating is for chapter 9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As of the writing of this story, only the first five episodes of The Blacklist have aired. I'm attempting to stay as close to canon as possible but it's difficult since I don't know what's going to happen with Tom. I'm going with my hunch though and assume, sadly, that he's still around.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Blacklist or Red, Liz, Dembe, etc.; however, Gretchen, Harry, Darya, Henri, etc., are mine. The brilliant Jon Bokenkamp and NBC are the rightful owners of The Blacklist and the characters appearing on The Blackist. This is a transformative work and no money is being made from this story.

They had flown to New Orleans on Red's jet, and as much as Liz hated to admit, she quite enjoyed the experience. When they arrived at their accommodations, Windsor Court, and were shown to their suite, she couldn't suppress her smile when she saw the view of the river. When Red told her to check the armoire in her bedroom, she found an exquisite midnight blue dress that she was pretty sure cost more than the gown she wore to her wedding. When she checked the label and saw Versace, she took a step back. That's when she saw the Louboutin shoe box.

She walked quickly to the sitting area, finding Red and Dembe standing close to one another reading from several loose pages. "Why did you buy me clothes?"

Red didn't bother to look up but did reply, "Appearances, sweetheart. Appearances."

Liz huffed, "Listen, that wasn't necessary."

His tone was a little condescending, she was interrupting him and he was annoyed, "You don't like the dress?"

Liz paused. She did like the dress. She liked the dress a lot. Too much probably.

He met her eyes, "Lizzie?"

"Okay, fine. Never mind. I'll wear the dress. What time are we meeting your contact?"

Dembe spoke, "We will need to leave the hotel by 8:15."

"So, is there anything I can help with? Is there anything I need to know?"

Red smirked at her, "As I said on the plane, you are my lover, and Gretchen is observant, we will have to convince her of that."

Liz felt the blush on her cheeks and glanced at Dembe before speaking, "I still don't understand why…"

Red interrupted her, "Fine. Stay here at the hotel, and I'll take Luli in your place. Again, as I stated to dear Harold, I cannot meet with Gretchen alone and she's more likely to talk if a woman is present."

He was putting her in a corner and Liz recognized that. "You know I have to report in, and, to do that, I have to go."

Red looked back to his papers, "Wonderful. This is resolved."

Liz crossed her arms in front of her and took a deep breath before sitting on the sofa. This was going to be a long night.  
__________

After applying the finishing touches to her make up, Liz slid on the dress that appeared to have been made specifically for her. As she drew up the zipper, she realized she wouldn't be able to fasten the hook herself. She thought about letting her hair down as a cover, but she didn't want to spend any more time on her hair. She stepped out of her bedroom, holding the top of her dress with one hand, intending to find Luli, but bumped into Red. She faltered for a second, then said in a rush, "Uh, I wasn't watching."

Red smiled down at her. She hadn't yet put on those lovely three inch designer heels and was surprised at how much taller Red seemed. "Need some assistance, sweetheart?"

She took a step back from him. "Yes, I was going to ask Luli for help."

His voice was soft and deep, "May I?"

She hesitated, then thought about how immature she was being, and turned to give him access to the hook. She continued to hold the dress as his warm fingers scattered across her shoulder blades.

"I've got it, Lizzie. Let go."

She turned back around and faced him, noticing that typical unreadable expression on his face, before saying a quick, "Thank you."

"Ready, I presume?"

"Yes, I'll just grab my shoes."  
__________

The short car ride to Arnaud's was spent pretty much in silence. Liz's nerves were beginning to get the better of her as she anticipated playing the role of Red's lover. She kept telling herself how ridiculous she was being, that it wasn't like she actually had to sleep with him. A few tender touches and, perhaps, a kiss on the cheek and that should be good. She could handle that. She really could. Not that big of a deal, at all.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Red exited the car quickly, coming around to her side and opening the door. She took the hand he offered as she climbed out of the car but soon let go, taking hold of his elbow instead.

The moment they entered the restaurant, a beautiful, expensively dressed woman appeared.  "Raymond, on time I see. Precise as usual."

Liz watched as the elegant blonde swooped in, placing a lingering kiss on Red's lips. She was surprised and then recognized splinters of anger as Gretchen dislodged her hand from Red's elbow, and maneuvered her way into Liz's spot next to Red. Liz was about to speak, when Gretchen began walking, leading Red toward the back of the restaurant. Liz stood there for a three count, completely dumbfounded. The nerve of that woman. Really.

Suddenly, Dembe was at her side, whispering, "She exhibits extreme signs of compulsive sexual behavior. I highly suggest you go to him now or she will lose all ability to focus on conversation and we will not obtain the necessary information."

Finally, Liz understood. Why the hell they couldn't tell her this ahead of time, she had no idea. Red and his games were infuriating at best. She understood he was trying to teach her, but she had no idea what lesson she was learning from this experience.

She walked slowly in the direction Gretchen had lead Red, searching for him, ignoring the looks from the well dressed men whose eyes lingered on her a little too long for their companions' liking. Liz finally found them in the corner, at a small table next to a large fireplace whose view from the rest of the patrons was mostly blocked. Clearly, this was the best seat in the house.

Gretchen was sitting close to Red, sliding her hands up and down his arm, muttering something about Stockholm in 2005. The second Red saw Liz, he stood, dislodging himself from the blonde's grasp, and walked around the table, placing a prolonged kiss on her cheek, "Sweetheart."

Liz smiled at him, "Darling." Then moved quickly to sit in the chair Red had occupied seconds earlier, putting herself between the woman and Red. When Red sat next to Liz, he placed his arm around her, pulling her close to his side.

"Elizabeth, allow me to introduce, Gretchen Ahlin. Gretchen, this is my Elizabeth."

The look on the blonde's face was insolent and she made no attempt to mask her emotions when she laughed. "Well, well. She's not what I expected, Raymond. Not your usual type, and a bit young, don't you think?"

Liz quickly wondered what Red's usual type was, but she moved that thought aside turning to look at Red, then was taken aback by the red lipstick stain on his bottom lip. Without a word, Liz unfolded the napkin in front of her, dampening a corner in a glass of water and then began to wipe at Red's lip, "We can't have this."

After finishing her task, she meet Red's penetrating gaze. Sometimes, the way he looked her at was too much - intimidating, yet baffling at the same time. She was determined not to be the one to look away first, but she failed. Again.

She felt his hand brush up her spine, then back down, where he stopped at the bottom of her rib cage, fingers circling her small waist. His touch didn't feel foreign or uncomfortable like she had expected.

When the waiter appeared, carrying drinks, Gretchen rose from her seat. "Do excuse me. I need to check on the kitchen. I'll make my rounds then come back by."

The second she was gone, Liz sat back in her seat, "Good grief, Red. You know, you could have told me - "

When his lips met her's, interrupting her mid-sentence, she was shocked. She kept her mouth tightly closed and briefly considered giving him a good ole' shove. He kissed his way to her ear, and whispered, "We're under surveillance. She has cameras and microphones placed all around us. She's not going to hand over any details until she's convinced I'm going back to the hotel with you. Gretchen and I have a history, and before I've always left with her."

Liz didn't know whether to believe him or not. It seemed unlikely that Gretchen was monitoring them that closely, if at all. Again, like she had many times over the last couple of days, she wondered if this was just a ploy on Red's behalf to initiate physical contact with her. Then she thought of the confirmed life on the line - the judge, a mother of three, who would die if they couldn't determine who had hired the hit. Time was of the essence.

She pulled away from him, sliding back into the profile of herself - the fears she would have if she were actually in a relationship with Raymond Reddington. "I'm sorry. It's just that I know you've been with a lot of women and when things like this happen, I become afraid that there's no way I can keep you satisfied."

His voice sounded strange to her ears, it held the same rhythmic flow but was deeper, there was a touch of something she couldn't identify, "You're all I need, Lizzie. I think we've established that already. Yes?"

His fingers were under her chin, bringing her face up, and she blinked away the tear she felt in the corner of her eye before answering, "Yes."

"Good."

Later she would tell herself, it was all about saving the mother so those innocent children wouldn't grow up with the memory of her murder, but at the time she wasn't thinking about them at all.

She simply gave in to the moment, gave in to this man who was continually telling her that she was his everything. She wanted to know what it would feel like to be the recipient of all his attention, so she leaned in and placed her lips on his. In retrospect, it had begun as a very chaste kiss, that is until Red took over. When she felt his tongue, gentle but coaxing, she opened her mouth to him, and suddenly nothing in the world existed except the way he was making her feel. He moved her closer by pulling on her upper arm. Then she became aware of his other hand holding the side of her neck - felt his mouth moving over hers in a way she had never experienced. The motion was subtle but powerful and the way he caressed her made her skin burn. The kiss went on and on and she didn't break the contact until she realized she was well on her way to losing control. When she moved back, he kept hold of her arm, and began brushing her jaw with the thumb of his opposite hand. She noticed his dilated pupils, realized she had a death grip on his forearm, and that her other hand was placed rather strategically on his upper thigh.

Thoughts of Tom came from nowhere, images bursting through her mind. She pushed her chair back, stood, and made her way to the restroom. When she returned a good ten minutes later, Red handed her a piece of paper with a name and address. "Gretchen came through. Call this in. I'll meet you outside."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events after the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally intended for this to be a one-shot but these two characters kept whispering in my ear, so...

After speaking with Ressler, giving him the information Red had obtained from Gretchen, Liz made her way toward the front of the restaurant. As she placed her hand on the door handle, she felt a tug on her arm and turned to see the blonde woman.

"You are a lovely thing, aren't you Elizabeth? I see what he's drawn to now - your naiveté."

Liz blew a puff of air out her mouth, annoyed.

"Or perhaps, it's the way you kiss him. So completely engrossed in the moment."

Liz pulled back in surprise, this woman had actually been watching.

Gretchen slid her hand down Liz's arm, taking hold of her hand, "If the two of you would like some company later, I'm available."

Liz felt her jaw drop in response and Gretchen laughed, "Hmm. That would be a first for you, wouldn't it? That makes it even hotter. And, I'm sure Raymond would be... shall I say, up for the challenge."

Liz disentangled herself and left without saying a word. The second she stepped outside she spotted Luli, who quickly opened the back passenger door. Liz climbed in and busied herself with thumbing through her cell phone to avoid looking at Red.

Thankfully, Red didn't acknowledge her presence. Instead, he appeared absorbed in conversation with Dembe - something about an arms deal with a Somalian pirate. As they rode on, his indifference toward her was becoming dissettling. She was used to being the center of his attention and being ignored put her on guard. She placed her phone in her clutch and turned her head to stare out her passenger window. At one point, she wondered if he was giving her space, but Liz couldn’t see Raymond Reddington giving anything to anyone without doing so to get something in return.

When they entered the suite, Liz immediately decided she had to take action or she would be giving Red the upper hand. She couldn’t let him know she was affected by what had transpired. She put on her professional mask, and as he poured himself a glass of scotch, she walked straight to him, turned her back, and asked, "Do you mind?"

It took him a moment to respond and she thought she just might have caught him off guard until she heard him swallow his drink. "Not at all sweetheart, not at all."

When she felt the pressure of his fingers on her back, grasping the hidden zipper, she bit her lower lip in anger but stood firm, he knew perfectly well that she only required help with the hook. As he slowly lowered the fastener, she felt his slight touch on her bare skin, trailing after the material. As the fabric grew slack around her body, she reached up with both hands and cupped the front of her dress. When the zipper reached its end, just above her tailbone, she held her breath until she felt his warm fingers slide up her back and unhook the clasp. When he didn’t speak, she forced herself to look over her shoulder at him. "Thank you.”

As she began the retreat to her bedroom, she forced his predatory gaze from her memory.  
__________

Liz awoke to a soft knocking at her bedroom door. She was groggy from deep sleep so it took her a few seconds to remember where she was. She rubbed her face, raised up to her elbows, and found her voice. “Yes, come in.”

Dembe’s head peaked around the door at her. “Sorry, to wake you, but breakfast is on its way - it will arrive in thirty minutes or so.”

Liz glanced at the clock on the nightstand and was surprised to see 10:38 on the display. She hadn’t slept this well in weeks and couldn’t remember the last time she had slept this late. “No, that’s fine. I can’t believe I slept this long. Thank you.”

He gave her a nod in response and softly shut the door.

She plopped down into the pillow and stretched her arms above her head. The tension that had been building at the base of her neck for days was gone, her muscles were no longer tight bands pulling at her shoulders. She moaned a contented sigh.

When Liz got out of bed, she noticed her cell phone on the nightstand. She picked it up - one missed call from Tom along with a text. She typed out a quick replay stating her case had been wrapped up late last night and that she should be home by late evening.

As she undressed, memories of Red’s mouth moving over hers assaulted her. She leaned against the bathroom counter and wrapped her arms around herself. She shook her head and pushed away the tingling that crept into her belly.  
__________

Liz decided to forgo full makeup and didn’t want to take the time to fix her hair, so she finished getting ready by pulling her hair back in a loose knot and outlining her eyes with a tad of mascara. She was thankful she had brought comfortable clothes, a pair of jeans and light sweater, for the trip back.

When she exited her bedroom, the first thing she saw was Red sitting at the dining table holding a newspaper in front of his face. Dembe was pouring tea, and nodded to her before speaking, “Perfect timing. The food just arrived.”

Liz smiled at Dembe. She was really growing to like this quiet assured man. “Great, cause I’m starving.”

She sat down in the chair opposite Red as he slightly lowered his paper to look at her before asking, “Sleep well?”

She smiled and nodded, “Yes. I - .” Liz stopped herself. There really wasn’t any reason to let him know that she slept better when she was in his care then when she was with her husband.

He lowered the paper further, gazing at her. She could see the cogs in his head spinning and quickly busied herself with fixing a plate. She gave a small sigh in relief when Red began conversing with Dembe about a North Korean incident that was still absent from the papers.

When Liz was nearly done eating, Luli appeared, exiting from Red’s bedroom. Liz couldn’t help but stare at the woman. She was wearing the shirt Red had worn the previous night which barely managed to cover her ample cleavage and emerald panties. Liz felt her face wrinkle in confusion and she stole a glance at Dembe who appeared oblivious. When Luli approached and leaned over Red in a very provocative manner, Liz looked at Red. He continued to read his newspaper and didn’t bother looking up, his face a veil. After Luli picked up a chocolate croissant and proceeded to sit on the armrest of Red’s chair, Liz felt revulsion, and then inexplicably, resentment. She remembered how Red had kissed Luli weeks ago after Assistant Director Cooper had obtained approval to bring in Red’s personal security; and she even remembered seeing Luli dressed similarity when she had asked Red about The Courier, but until now, she hadn’t actually believed that Red was sleeping with this woman.

As Luli nibbled at her breakfast, Red began rubbing her back in slow circles and Liz’s disgust and anger continued to swell. The silence was finally broken when Dembe rose from his chair. “I’m going to check on the flight plan and make sure we are still to depart at 3:00. I also need to follow up with Gretchen’s people before we leave. I should return no later than 2:00.”

After Dembe left, Liz felt embarrassed - for the display in front of her and because of the feelings it invoked. None of this was any business of her’s and she forced herself to remember that. When she was about to excuse herself to the sanctuary of her bedroom, Luli spoke directly to Red, “I’m going to take a long hot bath,” and sauntered off with Liz staring after her until she disappeared behind Red’s bedroom door.

When Liz looked back toward Red, she found him intently watching her. “Something wrong, Lizzie?”

She felt addled, which is how she often felt when she was alone with this man. She thought of brushing him off, but decided to go with the truth, “I… I didn’t realize… that you were in a relationship with her.”

“I’ve known Luli for years and I trust her explicitly.”

Liz looked down at the table and twisted the napkin in her lap. “Okay, of course.”

“Lizzie.”

She continued to stare at the table, all the vexation she felt earlier was gone, replaced with the feeling of being terribly alone.

Liz stood and spoke while she walked toward the large window with the beautiful view of the river, “That’s good. It really is. Everyone should have someone.” As she watched the water move, she remembered all those years of loneliness that had occupied her life before she met Tom.

“Are you assuming my relationship with Luli is of a sexual nature?”

Liz felt the heat rise in her cheeks and was glad her back was turned to him. “It’s none of my business. Really. I was just surprised. Can we please drop this?”

He chuckled, that slow smug, smartass laugh before stating. “Clearly this is causing you concern - ”

Liz interrupted him, and turned in his direction, “Look. Sleep with whoever the hell you want. Just have the manners not to flaunt it in my face.”

She saw the ire move quickly across his face before he replaced it with his usual non-committal glare. He slowly pushed his chair back, placed his newspaper on the table, stood, and began walking toward her.

Her automatic response was to take a step back but she stood firm. When he stopped a few inches in front of her, he whispered, “Tell me, Lizzie, are you still sleeping with your husband? Are you still sleeping with the enemy?”

She felt tears burning at her eyes and was quite certain the moisture was caused by a combination of shame, indignation, and as a result of attempting to match his unwavering stare. She hadn’t been with Tom since the attack by Zamani, but there was no reason for Red to know. She reprimanded herself - she should be yelling at Red in response, but she kept quiet as she couldn’t figure out why she had responded as she had about Luli in the first place.

Red leaned back on his heels, stuffed his hands in his pockets, “No. The answer is no.”

She dropped her gaze to his chest.

“Luli and I are… friends. We don’t have the physical relationship that you assume nor do I harbor romantic feelings for her.”

The wave of relief Liz felt caught her off guard, and for some reason, she reached out and touched the top button of his vest. Red must have taken that gesture as an invitation to move closer because he immediately took a small step placing one of his perfectly polished shoes between her two feet. The entire length of their bodies was brushing and Liz felt suddenly weak. Rather than look in his eyes she decided it was far easier to watch his lips. He removed one of his hands from a pocket and began skimming the length of the arm hanging loose at her side. Liz’s eyes slid shut as she focused on the subtle ghosting touch.

His voice dropped to its lowest timbre as he spoke slowly and quietly, “Did you enjoy the kiss last night?” He paused, stopped caressing her arm, “The way you taste - it reminds me of Abidjan. There’s something in the air on the Ivory Coast, it’s delicate but powerful, stimulating.”

She swayed and she felt him place his hands at her waist. His breath caused the tendrils of her hair to move as he leaned in further, his lips brushing her ear. “How I want you, Lizzie. How I want to be inside of you. A part of you.”

Liz closed her eyes tighter and she gripped the fabric of his vest. She felt frozen in place, like the earth had stopped moving.

She felt his fingers as they pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “But, I fear you’re still in love with your husband. So, I’m forced to wait.”

Where the courage came from, she did not know, but it was steady and strong. “You think I’m going to fall into your arms one day? You’re wrong, Reddington. You couldn’t be more wrong.”

As she stepped away from him, he chuckled. “We’ll see, Lizzie, we’ll see.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Lizzie in Indonesia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't abandoned this story and don't intend to. I had wanted to keep this one as close to canon as possible but have grown impatient, so here's the next chapter. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think.

It had been eight months since they had worked undercover together.  How things had changed in those weeks.  She was no longer Elizabeth Keen; with Tom gone, she had legally changed her surname back to Scott.  And, with the exception of his brief absence after Anslo Garrick, Red had remained by her side: continuing his teaching, patiently encouraging, reassuring her doubts, gently guiding her with a slight touch, and occasionally uttering inappropriate words of a sexual nature at odd times; all the while, never mentioning their time together in New Orleans.  When she was tired, her defences down, she caught herself thinking of his touch though, the way his mouth had felt on hers, and the way he studied her with an attention that made her ache.

It was a bitter winter in D.C. and Cooper had just assigned her to travel with Red to Indonesia.  The Chinese were building a new submarine and the detailed information on their advanced missile system had come up for auction.  The U.S. government was using Red to broker the deal - purchase the intel.  Cooper was afraid Red would use the information to his own gain and assigned Liz to keep an eye on him.  

The eighteen hour flight proved uneventful.  Liz spent the hours studying the information on the various individuals they expected to be bidding against, while Red read from various newspapers and completed crossword puzzles.  Neither one had slept and by the time they arrived at the small luxury resort where they would be staying, Liz was drained.  It was dark, 8:30 at night, but she was still able to make out the beauty of the setting.  They were escorted to a small villa embedded in a hill, which had a gorgeous view of Tanjung Benoa Bay.  When Dembe turned to leave with their guide, Liz turned to Red confused.  

He gave her a small grin and said, “The villas here only have single bedrooms and as much as Dembe is willing to sacrafice his comfort, I will not ask him to sleep on a sofa unless its absolutely necessary.  We are surrounded by my acquaintances, Lizzie, each of whom has brought their own security.  I assure you, we are quite safe.”

The thought of sharing a bedroom with him made her nervous but not nearly as much as it would have a few months ago.  She also thought it best to appear unaffected by the situation.  “I understand.  That’s fine.  He will be close though?”

Red spoke as he began removing his tie and unbuttoning his vest, “Just down the path.”

Liz took in the space, her eyes gliding over the traditional Balinese decor.  She noticed the huge canopied bed through the arched doorway and thought how romantic the billowy white linens and drapes were in contrast to the dark wood.  She then walked to the double doors in the main room, which opened to a natural stone veranda and a small private pool just beyond.  She stared at the tide rolling in at the beach far below and found herself lost in magic of the moonlight dancing across the landscape.    

As she stepped back, Red walked past her and opened the double doors.  Liz immediately smelled the ocean breeze and closed her eyes to better focus on the scent and the sensation of the air.  When she opened her eyes again she found Red watching her, a small upturn of his lips that wasn’t quite a grin.

She gave him a small smile in response.  “This place is amazing.  Surreal.”  She then felt a sense of embarrassment at her lack of travel and said, “I guess you’ve been to lots of places like this.”

Red slowly placed his hands in his pockets and tilted his head.  “A man never tires of sharing a beautiful place with an equally beautiful woman, Lizzie.”

She felt herself blush and averted her eyes.  She didn’t feel beautiful and questioned if Red saw her that way.  In the time she had spent with him, she had learned the best defense for comments that made her uncomfortable was to ignore them or change the subject.  This time she decided on both as she began walking toward the bedroom.  “I think I’ll put my things away and take a shower.”

_____

After showering, Liz dried her hair and brushed her teeth; she then put on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top wishing she had something more sophisticated to wear.  If she had known she would be sharing a bedroom with him, she would have purchased different sleepwear.  When she entered the bedroom, she found Red putting away his clothing in the armoire.  He turned briefly, glancing at her, before returning to his work.  She began to feel nervous again but did her best to push the emotion back and look calm.  “Which side of the bed do you prefer?”

He turned to her again before saying, “I’ll take the couch, Lizzie”

“Oh.”

He raised his brows at her.

“I mean you don’t have to do that.”  She looked at the large bed and spoke in a rush, “It’s a big bed and I would feel bad if you…”

“You’re certain?”

Liz met his eyes.  “Yes.”

He returned her gaze, his eyes steady.  “Very well.  Thank you.”

She nodded then walked to the right side of the bed, where she usually slept, and pulled back the covers.  After turning off her bedside lamp, she crawled into bed and looked in his direction again.  He was watching her but the shadows hid his face.  “Goodnight, Red.”

The octave of his voice dipped slightly lower when he answered, “Sweet dreams, Lizzie.”

_____

She woke what had to be hours later to a gentle shake at her shoulder.

“Lizzie, as much as I’m enjoying the warmth and softness of your skin, I think it best if you move back to your side of the bed.”

After a few moments, she realized she was nestled into Red’s side; her head was on his shoulder, her arm resting on his upper torso, the fingers of her hand moving through the hair on his bare chest.  He smelled like a fresh shower and felt deliciously warm.  Though his words had registered, she didn’t move, then panic hit her full force.  She slid back then further away, and muttered, “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

She felt the bed shift slightly as he moved to his side, facing her. “It’s quite alright, sweetheart, I would have let you stay that way for another hour but I have issues with my right shoulder at times.”

Her entire body suddenly felt hot, she had been using him for a pillow for a long time.  She wondered if she had touched him anywhere else and felt beads of sweat on her forehead and upper lip.

She pushed back the covers and got up from the bed, it was still dark outside but the moonlight and a small lamp in the main room provided enough illumination so that she could safely find her way.  She grabbed a bottled water from the mini fridge, opened the french doors, and stepped out onto the stone veranda.  She took several deep breaths and pulled her hair back for a moment to cool the back of her neck with the water bottle.  After her perspiration had dried, she took a long drink of the cold water.  She found herself thinking of the weather and didn’t understand how she could be this close to the ocean and not feel humidity; this wasn’t like any Florida vacation she had been on - in so many ways.  

She didn’t hear his approach but felt his presence.  After a few seconds, she spoke, “I am sorry.  I didn’t know.  I hope I didn’t…  You should have pushed me away.”

“Lizzie, there’s no reason to be embarrassed.”  His tone was glib, he was playing with her and she felt angry; she was growing incredibly tired of his games.

She turned and looked at him, showing her vexation.  She tried to keep her eyes on his face but failed. He was wearing pajama pants but nothing else, and in this lighting he looked more handsome than ever.  She wanted desperately to touch him and didn’t realize she had reached up with her free hand until his eyes focused on the movement, just inches from his chest.

She dropped her hand and turned to face the opposite direction.  “You know, I would like to think it’s because you are the only person who has touched me since my divorce.  Although I pretend not to, I do notice when you place your hand on my back, or at my elbow, or when you…”  Her brain began working again and she stopped speaking.  She took another drink of her water and began walking forward.  “Never mind.  You should go back to bed and get some rest.  I am truly sorry for keeping you awake.”  She squeezed her eyes tightly shut after the last sentence, knowing her voice sounded splintered.

After a few moments of consideration, she sat on a large smooth rock by the pool’s edge and then she slowly slid her foot into the water.  It was much warmer than she expected and felt like a caress.  If he was still behind her, he was keeping quiet and maintaining a distance.  She couldn’t imagine him leaving without announcing his departure so she assumed he was still there - watching, always watching.  Liz then thought of Tom for the first time in weeks.  She remembered her former husband’s big gentle eyes and compared them to the coldness she often saw in Red’s; both men were incredibly good at manipulation while she was a mere pawn.  She was tired of pretending to be strong and decided to give up her fight; she didn’t think anything could be worse than her current state of limbo.

After a few minutes, she moved her foot from the water and raised her hips, shimming out of her shorts.  She then removed her tank and slipped into the water sinking to the bottom for a few seconds before pushing out from the wall and gliding to the other side of the pool.  It had been years since she had swam and she had nearly forgotten the weightless feeling.  She kept her body in the water as she raised her head for air, dropping her head back and looking up at the stars.  In her peripheral vision, she saw slight movement and ignored it, ignored him.  What was the point of being modest with a man who had most likely been with countless women.  She stood and walked forward to the dark side of the pool before rolling to her back and floating.  She then swam the entire length of the pool while underwater a number of times before coming to rest on the small step in the corner.  She sat there, facing the opposite direction of Red for a long while.  She heard the clink of ice in a glass and knew he had left at some point to retrieve his beloved scotch.  

When her palms and fingers were wrinkled from the warm water she climbed out, the water dripping from her body and hair.  After reaching down and retrieving her clothing, she stood upright and found Red directly in front of her holding an open towel.  She met his eyes, which were firmly on hers and moved forward; he wrapped the thick soft cotton around her, enveloping her in a cocoon, his hands resting on her bare back.  She first thought she saw desire but after blinking, clearing the pool water from her eyes, she realized it was something else, something more.

His voice was husky, “You are so damn unpredictable, Lizzie.”

Part of her wanted to punch him but a bigger part wanted to kiss him.  She rose to her tiptoes and placed her lips at his jaw, kissing him softly; once she felt his fingers skim down her slick back, stopping at the ridge of her tail bone, she kissed him again. Liz then spoke against his skin, “Thank you for being my pillow. I haven’t slept that well since New Orleans.”  When she moved to her heels, she noticed his eyes were closed and he appeared incredibly vulnerable.  After a pause, she stepped out of the towel, and walked straight to the bathroom shower.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventure in Indonesia continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference to the age difference between Red and Liz is from the pilot script which may be found on the web.  
> *Per page 1, Red is 55;  
> *Per page 9, Liz is 36;  
> *And, not so subtle hint, per page 31, Red's daughter is 30.  
> 

Liz woke lying on her stomach with her pillow partly covering her face. She knew by instinct it was late and groaned loudly wondering why Red hadn’t woken her. She grabbed her pillow and tossed it to the floor then turned her head to Red’s side of the bed. He wasn’t there and she scooted across the mattress feeling the sheets to see if the fabric held any residual warmth. She groaned again when she found the sheets cold to the touch. She moved to a sitting position before stretching her arms above her head and climbing from the bed.

She dressed quickly in a knee length light blue sundress and sandals before brushing out her hair and applying makeup. As she was leaving the villa, she was met by a tiny Indonesian man carrying fresh linens. He greeted her with a wide smile then handed her a note. She immediately recognized Red’s script, “Meet me on the outdoor terrace of the main building. Lunch will be served shortly.”

Liz meandered along the flat rock path lined with native succulents and flowers listening to the birds calling in the dense treeline beginning a few feet away. As a wood bench came into view, she decided to sit and take a minute to gather her thoughts and quiet her emotions. She briefly thought of her early morning moonlight swim but pushed the memory of that specific event aside to focus specifically on Red’s reaction after he wrapped her in the towel. She vividly recalled his closed eyes, after placing the kisses to his jaw, which to her surprise had remained that way. Looking back, she now remembered his change in breathing as well. Liz had never used sexuality as a weapon and that had not been her intention last night; she was simply tired of hiding behind the facade of being indifferent toward him. She steeled herself, unsure how he would greet her today, and prepared to step into her assigned role as his replacement for Luli. 

As she approached what she assumed to be the correct location, she heard Red’s booming laugh followed by several others joining in. When she stepped around the corner she easily spotted him facing away from her in his cream suit. She scanned the large table, carefully identifying the other bidders - five men and one woman. She was unsure what to do with herself for a few seconds until she spotted the smaller tables at the other end of the terrace. Dembe stood when she looked in his direction and she began making her way across the room. As she walked by the main table, on the side opposite Red, she felt a hand on her upper thigh reaching in and up; she turned to see a pointy faced thin man who she had recognized as Henri Dumont. He mumbled something to her in French before she clearly heard the words, “I will screw you until - " She shoved his hand away which threw him a little off balance causing him to stoop toward her then she slapped him hard. He recovered quickly though and came at her, his chair back hitting the hard floor resulting in a loud crash. She felt the strong impact of his return open handed blow and her vision went black. As she cradled her head with both arms, she felt motion then heard a sickening crunch and a man screaming. 

Her vision began to come back as she felt an arm at her waist, guiding her forward. She attempted to turn her head toward the agonizing cries and found Red next to her. “Don’t look, Lizzie.” She then saw Dembe walking toward them speaking to Red in Wolof and Red replied using the same. 

Liz’s vision began to blur again and she felt sick. She stopped walking and Red bumped into her side. “I think I'm...” 

Red's voice was quiet but commanding, "Take her now."

The feeling of weightlessness made her nausea worse and she realized she was being carried before she lost consciousness.

She awoke what she assumed was a few seconds later. Dembe was sitting her down on an outdoor chaise lounge chair. In the next instant, he was dabbing at her lip with a piece of white cloth which looked to be stained with blood. Her fingers immediately went to her lip. 

“It is cut, but not bad. There should not be a scar.”

She pushed herself into a sitting position then thought better of it and laid back down. “I messed things up, didn’t I?”

“Actually Agent Scott, that could not have been better planned. You gave Raymond a reason to take out our biggest competitor.”

Liz knew her eyes went wide. “Did he kill him?”

Dembe smiled and shook his head, “No, no, but he did break his leg. The compound fracture will require surgery and Raymond is assisting with arranging medical transport.”

Liz closed her eyes as another wave of nausea hit her. At least she could no longer hear Henri Dumont’s screams.

She was surprised when she felt Dembe take her hand in his and pat it gently. “Rest for a few minutes. Raymond will be here as soon as he can.” 

“Despite what you say, I'm pretty sure I've made things more difficult for both of you."

"Agent Scott, Dumont is a vile man. Never feel remorse for defending yourself. That Frenchman pays a great deal of money to hurt women in private settings. I am only surprised that he touched you that way in front of others. Obviously, he did not know you are Raymond's." 

Liz swallowed at Dembe' s words and repeated them in her head, "Raymond's." She didn't think the bodyguard was referring to her cover and her mind raced through all the other possible meanings. After a minute or two she said, "Call me Liz."

She watched as his eyes scanned the foliage just past the overhang of the small promenade. She hadn't realized until now that they were in a different location, the terrace of the main building not in site. After a moment he replied, “If that is what you prefer.”

“It’s what I prefer.” She turned her head to follow his eyes but didn't see anything. "Dembe, is something wrong? Is someone there?"

"No, I don't believe so. I'm just making sure. Raymond's reaction caught the attention of Ms. Semyonov. He involved himself with her a number of years ago in order to obtain necessary information and she has remained infatuated. I imagine she will try to reconnect with him. She usually does. She is mostly harmless but she has had him watched in the past. If she sees you as a rival for his affection, she may have you monitored as well."

Liz felt her face grow warm. Red seemed to have history with a good number of women who had not gotten over him; first Gretchen Ahlin in New Orleans and now Darya Semyonov. She wondered why these women lent themselves to voyeurism; if it simply had something to do with the nature of their occupation.

Red’s voice came from a distance, he was speaking to Dembe in Wolof again. Liz sat up as Dembe let go of her hand and got up to meet Red. She watched the two men as they spoke then switched her gaze to Red’s face as Dembe walked away. He sat down facing her, their thighs touching, a deep frown on his face. She felt ashamed. “Red, I’m sorry. This is my fault. I should have kept my cool, reacting that way was unprofessional.”

He placed a forefinger across her lips and said, “Shhh, Lizzie,” before taking his kerchief from his pocket and placing it at her lip. She watched him as he inspected her face for further injury and having appeared to find none, he raised his free hand and brushed back her bangs. 

She took hold of his wrist, moving the square form her lip. "I don’t understand why you chose me. Clearly I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I could have ruined this whole… I continue to make mistakes. I could have gotten all three of us killed. You should have picked someone else... someone like Meera.”

His expression remained neutral as she rambled and it began to make her indignant. “Well, at least tell me I’m right.”

As he slowly began to bend closer to her she inhaled. When his lips touched the cut at the corner of her mouth, she breathed out.

As he sat back, he said, “There is no one I could want more than you, Lizzie.”

She shook her head, dropping her hold on his wrist, her tone bitter, "This isn't about want. It's about what's right. I don't understand how you demand perfection from yourself - from everyone but me."

His eyes finally met hers and he twitched his mouth before asking, "Do you feel faint?"

She sat up, her hand pushing into his thigh for leverage. "Don't do that, don't sit there and pass over my questions and statements like they don't matter. You make me feel so... so foolish. I may not come even remotely close to matching your brilliance but I'm not that simpleminded. If you truly want me then start to treat me like you... like you want me." She felt tears and angrily swiped at her eyes. "Or is this just about some sick physical obsession? Because that makes no sense... there are far more attractive and experienced women out there."

When he just looked at her for several seconds with a blank stare, she was done. "Really? That's it? That's the best you can do?"

"Lizzie, you need to calm - " 

She interrupted him, "No. I don't. Before, you were playing with my mind. Now, it's my heart and I won't allow you to do that. I can't. Not after Tom." Liz swung her legs over the opposite side of the lounger and moved to stand. "I'm done with this. I'm done with you. I won't allow you to force your way into my life using my job as an excuse. I'll do something else even though I don't want to." 

As she stepped forward the lightheadedness hit her again and she lurched forward. Somehow Red managed to grab her and haul her up against his body before she fell on her face. He cupped her chin with one hand and looked into her eyes. "I'm nearly certain you have a slight concussion which means you may not be able to remember this conversation later, but I'm not about to let you walk away." His glare turned more severe. "And, you most assuredly will not be done with me until I've been given proper opportunity to respond. Is that understood?"

His eyes were inches from hers and they were fierce. The grip he had on her body was tight and hard. Liz managed to give him a slight nod and he released her jaw. She spoke softly, "Later. You're right, I don't feel well." 

In one swift motion he picked her up then laid her down; his hands quickly smoothing the material of her dress and pushing it down from her upper thighs before returning his attention to her face. "Now. Again. Do you feel faint?"

"Not now."

"But when you stood a moment ago?"

"Yes."

He curled the fingers of one hand behind her neck, carefully prodding at her vertebra. "Any pain?"

"No."

He then began pushing into the muscles of her neck and shoulders, "Here? Or here?"  
"No."

He manipulated the muscles, kneading, and when she felt completely relaxed several minutes later, he slid his hand to the front of her neck where her dress opened. His eyes moved from her face to the hollow of her throat and he placed the pad of one finger in the juncture between her clavicles. With the dissipation of her anger, she didn't mind this touch though she knew she should. As his fingers began to inch lower, his eyes following his ministrations, she whispered, "No."  
His eyes bounced back up to hers and his hand immediately ceased it's movement. He studied her before speaking, "I do apologize. I was lost for a moment." 

She waited for him to move his hand but he didn't; his fingertips hot against her skin. When he began to lean forward she thought he was going to kiss her but he turned, placing his mouth near her ear. He spoke softly, "You are volatile, Lizzie, yet steady. A constant contradiction. I know this but fail to remember the importance at times. You must be patient with me. I do try. This is not easy."

As his words sunk in, she refused to take their meaning entirely at face value. She took hold of his hand, removing it from her chest, and linked their fingers together. "You know exactly what you're doing."

He grinned before saying, "If that were true, you would have been in my bed eight months ago."

"Like I am now?"

"I did not orchestrate this, Lizzie. Your people sent us here. You invited me into your bed."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "To sleep."

His lips turned up briefly before he spoke, "And you are the one that crossed that expansive mattress, not me."

"I take no responsibility. I was asleep."

His grin grew into a smile and he turned his head to the side, appearing to study the distance. "Fair enough."

She admired his profile, wanting to reach up and touch his face. She thought of bringing up the swim but was unsure, afraid that might push boundaries she wasn't ready to press.

He met her eyes a few moments later then unlocked their hands. He leaned forward slightly as he placed both of his hands on the cushion beside each of her shoulders. "Of course, swimming under the stars while nude, Lizzie, that was in no way a maneuver on your part, now was it?"

As several expletives went unsaid, she felt her muscles tense. Of course, he wouldn't let that go. She should have been the one to bring it up, in order to put herself on an equal playing field.

His voice dipped lower, "I may be nineteen years older than you, my dear, but I assure you I'm perfectly virile. " 

The blush blossomed across her face and she felt the heat traveling down her neck. He noticed the color and she watched him dip his head following the flush to her chest. His voice became lower still, husky, "I'm quite good at restraint. In all things, really. But, that was erotic, Lizzie. Perhaps even a bit dangerous."

She placed her hand on the side of his face, bringing his eyes back up to hers. "I'm not sorry. That was not my intent. You didn't have to stay and watch."

He moved a hand to her waist, lightly pressing his fingers into her side, his eyes darkening below the brim of his fedora. "You honestly have no idea how beautiful you are, do you? Tell me, are you able to look away from a rainbow, Lizzie? Or a breathtaking sunset? A field full of newly blooming flowers?"

She moved her hand from his face sliding it down until she hooked a finger in the v of his vest. "You're a master with words. You manipulate, intimidate, and control people with language."

He grinned and leaned forward again. "I wonder what male company you have kept to be this unsure of your appeal."

"What? You mean all two of them?"

His hand stilled at her side, his breath rushing out across her ear. As he moved back, she cursed herself having not a clue why she revealed that much. His eyes were brighter when they met hers, inquisitive. "Two, Lizzie?" He didn't necessarily look surprised but she thought he was trying to mask what her acknowledgement made him feel.

"So you thought what? That I freely have sex without any sort of commitment? That I would fall into bed with you without it meaning something other than whatever it is you already use me for?" He blinked and his unease became apparent to her. She sighed. There was no reason for her to feel disquietude but she did. "I've only slept with men I loved; men who I thought loved me. And, as you know, I was terribly wrong about at least one." 

Liz gradually pushed him back and slowly rose, placing her hand on the back of the chaise for support. She felt more like herself. "I feel better. I think I'll get some lunch."

As she stepped around the back of the chair, he continued to sit. She knew he was thinking and couldn't imagine where his thoughts would lead. She felt alone for the first time since they had left D.C. and found herself touching her scar as she moved past him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not so nice Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has left a comment or kudo!

When she reached the main terrace she felt eyes on her and noticed the change in the volume of the conversations. She felt awkward but was glad she returned alone without Red or Dembe. If she were to gain any respect with this group, she would have to earn it on her own. Liz sat at the nearest empty table and was approached by a waiter immediately. She then glanced around and noticed that most were already finished with their meals. The waiter quickly returned and placed a bowl of soup in front of her as well as a glass of red wine. She decided drinking and a possible head injury didn't mix and sat the alcohol aside.

A while later, after she was half way through the main course, she noticed someone approaching her table and looked up. She identified the former British Intelligence Officer.

“Hello.” He extended his hand. “Harry Price.”

She shook his hand. “Jenny.”

“Jenny?”

“Just Jenny.”

“May I join you?”

She nodded and the tall curly haired blonde sat. He was quite handsome and she quickly thought the photographs in the FBI file did not do him justice.

“That was quite a scene earlier. Are you alright? You took quite a knock.”

She met his hazel eyes. “I must admit, I was a bit rattled. I’m new to all this and wasn’t prepared.”

“Dumont is an arse. I’ve been waiting for someone to put him in his place for years, but I do hate that you were harmed before someone took action." He grinned before continuing, "You did get in a good whack of your own though." She watched as he leaned back and crossed his legs, making himself comfortable. "So tell me, what is it exactly that you do for Reddington?"

Liz smirked as his more than obvious fishing and thought it probably had something to with his reputation of being a lady's man. With the exception of Darya and the resort staff, she was the only female present. "I guess you could say that I'm his accountant."

"I see. You move his money. Like Louise once did."

"You knew Luli?"

"No, not really. We crossed paths on several occasions. It's my understanding she was quite brilliant. She was quiet and never really socialized unless Reddington was around. She's wasn't near as introverted as that bodyguard of his though. I don't think I've heard that man speak until today."

"Dembe is a man of few words."

He gave her an exaggerated nod. "I'm surprised Reddington has left you unattended. Especially after what occurred earlier."

Liz tried her best to look afraid as she glanced around the veranda. "Why, is there something I should know?"

"Oh, no. Please don't be alarmed. It's just that Raymond's people usually stay close to him. I wasn't even aware you were here until the incident with Dumont."

"Well, I don't have the inclination to spend all of my time with my boss. I'm not even really sure why I'm here. I can handle transactions from just about anywhere."

He smiled at her. "Perhaps he wanted a beautiful lady on his arm?"

Liz met his eyes. "I've heard rumors about his relationship with Luli and I assure you, Mr. Price, ours is quite different."

He raised one eyebrow. "I do apologize. I'm old enough to know not to make assumptions but I continue to do so nonetheless."

"No offense taken."

The second Red stepped onto the terrace the ambience changed. Liz didn't see his approach but immediately noticed the turning of heads before a couple of men called to him. He commanded attention no matter the circumstance and Liz sat back in admiration. As he walked by, he made brief eye contact with her before joining the others at the main table. The look was fleeting and she had a flashback from the day of Anslo Garrick's attack; when they were being prepared to repel to the tunnel.

"So, Jenny, what are you plans for this evening?"

Liz turned back to Harry. "Since we can't leave the resort until this process is finished, I guess I'll be eating here."

He gave her a broad smile. "Will you join me?"

Liz thought of the file she had read on this man a number of hours earlier. He was considered a criminal but still had strong ties to the British government; if she were to interact with anyone here, he was the safest bet. "You want to sit with me at the kiddie table?"

He laughed, a merry musical sound that made her genuinely laugh too. She noticed in her peripheral vision they had caught Red's attention. "I don't mind but if you say yes, I'll make sure there's a seat next to me at the adult table."

Liz was pleased. She had been lucky enough to involve herself a bit more directly in the game. "Ok, yes, I would like that. Thank you."

After standing, he reached for her hand and placed a quick kiss on her knuckles. "Until this evening, Miss Jenny."

She smiled up at him in response. He was charming, very good looking, and she reminded herself, a criminal. She placed her napkin on the table, scooted her chair back, and began the walk back to their rooms. When she walked by Red's table, she glanced in his direction to find him watching Harry Price.  
_____

The moment she arrived back at the villa, she made her way to the master bath to study her lip in the mirror. There was slight swelling but the cut was barely noticeable. She changed into an old Cornhuskers t-shirt, closed the curtains, turned on the large ceiling fan, then climbed into the freshly made bed after taking three Advil. Her head was beginning to pound and the muscles in her neck had grown tight. She briefly wished for another massage from Red before scolding herself. She wondered what he was doing as sleep took her.

She woke to soft voices, immediately knowing it was Red and Dembe. She struggled to make out their words after hearing her name but failed. As she rolled to her side, she felt pain in the right side of her neck. It wasn't horrible but it was strong. When she heard Red say her name again she felt irritation. She climbed from the bed and walked to the bedroom doorway. She looked through the main room to see both men sitting on the veranda drinking from long-neck bottles. She thought about putting on a pair of shorts but thought that silly as her t-shirt went to her mid-thighs.

Liz approached them somewhat slowly in attempt to hear their conversation but concluded they were already aware of her presence. She said, "You know, if you're going to talk about me, you could at least do it in voices loud enough for me to hear."

Red slightly turned his head to the side, his eyes darting to her figure, while Dembe turned around to greet her full on. When Dembe spoke, she was a bit surprised. It seemed the only time he conversed with her was when Red wasn't around. "Good afternoon, Liz. I hope you are feeling well."

Liz stood back, remaining inside the villa, there was something about the twist of Red's mouth, a near sneer, that made her uneasy. "Yes. I'm fine." She didn't know what else to say and waited to see if Red would address her. She couldn't remember an instance when he had not acknowledged her presence with a verbal greeting. She wondered if he was upset with her or if it was simply due to the casualness of the situation. She retrieved a water bottle then retreated to the bedroom.

A few moments later, she heard their conversation resume. She went to the dresser and pulled out the paperback she had brought with her and crawled onto the bed carefully fluffing the pillows before leaning into them. She tried to focus on reading but found herself listening to the muffled voices of the two men instead. They were speaking lower now and she felt a twinge of hurt. Obviously Red had no inclination to share his plans with her.

As the muscles in her neck grew tighter, she decided it best to get up. She took three more Advil then changed into a pair of shorts, sports tank and running shoes. She tied her hair up in a ponytail and made her way to the veranda. The moment she came near them, both men ceased their conversation again which made her angry. She stood with her arms crossed facing them and tried to keep the frustration from her voice, "So, what happens next? When does this bidding take place?"

Dembe looked to Red so Liz turned her attention to him. Red replied calmly but she could hear an underlying venom, "Lizzie, there's really no need to trouble yourself with this. Think of our time here as a vacation. How about a swim? I know you enjoy that activity."

She felt the tears burning at her eyes and stared at him wondering where in the hell his animosity was coming from. His expression softened for a moment when he met her gaze then became fixed, unaffected. She slightly nodded at him. "Okay. You're angry with me. What did I do?"

He took a long draw of his beer then sat the bottle on the ground. "I'm not angry, Lizzie. Do I appear to be angry?"

As his eyes lowered to her hands, she realized she was stroking her scar. She stopped, pushing her arms to her sides. When several tears slid down her cheeks, she saw Dembe move slightly forward in his chair. She continued to return Red's glare. "What did I do?"

Red slightly cocked his head before replying, "What makes you think you did something, Lizzie?"

She averted her eyes to Dembe but stood stock still. The bodyguard met her eyes briefly then looked away. She returned her attention to Red. "Because you're punishing me."

"How? I'm simply sitting enjoying a tasteful domestic brew with a dear friend."

Liz racked her brain in attempt to come up with some sort of explanation. Finding none, she asked, “If I list all the mistakes I’ve made in the past twenty four hours will you tell me which one upset you?”

He blinked slowly, his eyes remaining intently on her.

She felt her hands shaking and bent her fingers making fists. “Number 1: I removed my clothing and swam nude in front of you not realizing how it might - "

Red raised his hand in her direction placing his palm up, the displeasure on his face obvious, and she stopped talking. He then turned his head toward Dembe who immediately got up and left.

The second Liz heard the front door close, she continued "Number 2: I slept late and missed the beginning of the meeting. Number 3: I failed to maintain my composure when a man touched me inappropriately and told me he was going to assault me."  She dropped her eyes, no longer able to meet his glare then swallowed the lump in her throat and pressed her nails into her palms. "Number 4: I became angry because you refused to point out my unprofessional behavior with Dumont. Number 5: I told you that I've only had two sexual relationships because I trusted you to understand why I... "

When she saw him reaching for his beer, she left the last sentence unfinished. The nonchalance of that gesture cut her to the core.  Liz tried to stay strong but felt lost. She had never met anyone more powerful than Raymond Reddington and seriously doubted she ever would. After waiting a moment to see if he would offer any words, she left the villa and found a new path to explore, doing her best not to think of Red but failing miserably.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz has dinner with Harry which makes Red quite unhappy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks to all who comment and leave kudos!

Liz stayed away from the villa until she was certain Red would be gone.  She then showered and washed her hair before putting on a red halter dress and flats.  As she walked to dinner, her nervousness returned and she turned back toward the villa twice before forcing herself on to dinner.  

 

The moment she stepped onto the terrace she was thankful Harry rose to greet her.  He gave her a beaming smile and pulled out the last side chair of the table, which was thankfully quite a distance from Red, who sat at the center of the table on the opposite side.  After making sure she was comfortable, Harry returned to his seat.

 

The blonde leaned in and whispered, "I was beginning to worry and was considering asking Reddington about your whereabouts but suspected that might not be best."

 

Liz felt a pained smile cross her lips before she quietly replied, "I'm afraid my employer and I had a disagreement earlier.  I do apologize for being late."

 

After rubbing his chin with his index finger, he glanced in Red's direction before turning his attention back to her.  "If you need assistance at any point while you are here, I will help you, Jenny.  You are not the first person who has gotten in over their heads with Reddington."

 

She looked down at her lap, the stranger's kind words suddenly making her feel all the emotion she had pent up from the day's events.  When she felt Harry’s arm wrap around her shoulders she spoke to herself, "You're a professional.  Get it together.  Don't let Red get to you.  Do your job."  She then licked her lips before bringing her head up and replying, "I'm good.  I think the jet lag and incident with Dumont have left me on edge."

 

After giving her right shoulder a gentle squeeze, Harry nodded and moved his arm to the back of her chair.  "Completely understandable.  So, how do you like Indonesian cuisine?"

 

As Liz spoke, she glanced around the table noticing that everyone seemed to be involved in their own conversations, hearing at least three different languages.  "Well lunch was certainly different from the couple of dishes I've had in the States."

 

Harry leaned forward and took a sip of his beer.  "To be honest, I'm not that fond of the food but it's edible. They should be bringing out the soup soon."

 

When a waiter appeared to Liz's right and placed a drink in front her, she instantly recognized the Aviation Cocktail.  She looked at Red and found him raising his glass of scotch up to her before giving her a wink.  By all outward appearances he was jocular but she recognized the gloom in his eyes.  As understanding seeped into her brain, she sat back in her chair.  He was jealous.  That's what his impudence this afternoon had been about.  Liz felt a surge of empowerment, a command she hadn't known since she told Red his profile while sitting in that Canadian restaurant months ago.  She picked up her glass and raised it in his direction before taking a sip and winking back.  When she saw the slight twitch below his left eye, she grinned and turned her attention back to Harry.

_____

 

The dinner didn't prove to be very informative and was predominantly a social event.  A couple of attendees became overly intoxicated and began boasting about their financial backers but other than that short distraction Liz was actually quite bored. Harry had told her a couple of tales about the time he spent as an intelligence officer, but as he spoke she kept thinking Red's way with words was far more entertaining.  She managed to avoid looking directly at Red but did notice his glances in her direction a number of times.   

 

Liz still felt the residual pain from his cruel behavior earlier but the awareness she had gained regarding the reason behind his actions gave her a deeper understanding of the man.  For the moment at least, she felt as if she had the upper hand.  She wondered why he was so open with statements about having only her and wanting only her, but yet was closed when it came to having a discussion as to the feeling behind his need and desire.

 

As the evening wrapped up, she found Harry moving closer before asking, "How about a nightcap in my villa?  I have a bottle of brandy that I would like to share."

 

"Thank you, Harry, but no.  I'm quite exhausted and need some rest.  I'm afraid my neck is giving me some trouble after Dumont."

 

His frown in response appeared genuine.  "Where Jenny?"  Before she had time to redirect him, he reached up to her neck and carefully began pressing his fingers into her skin.  

 

The sound of a glass being sat on the table was loud and from her peripheral vision she knew it had been Red who slammed the tumbler down.  He laughed in what she thought was at attempt to cover his actions and his Korean companion joined in slamming his hand on the table to make a similar gesture.

 

"Oh, I'll be fine once I take some pain relievers.  Why don't you walk me back?"

 

He grinned.  "Absolutely."

 

During the walk, they came across Dembe sitting on a bench.  He nodded to her before thoroughly appraising Harry.  Dembe spoke just as they walked past him.  "Jenny, a moment please."

 

Liz stopped and turned to Dembe who waited for Harry to move a bit down the path.  Dembe spoke in a hushed voice, "You need to send him on his way and you need to do it now."  The urgency in Dembe's tone relayed the importance of the situation and she complied speaking to Harry, quickly excusing herself.

 

After Harry disappeared into the darkness Dembe began speaking, "Liz, Raymond is my brother, and because of my love for him, I tell you this now.  You are walking a fine line.  A line I don't believe you understand.  He represses his emotions but I have seen moments tonight where his reserve waivered - that is not a good sign.  I believe your actions with the British man are innocent but it was not the best choice to sit with him.  I don’t know what transpired between you and Red earlier, right after the incident with Dumont, but for Raymond to mention it to me means he took it seriously.  I know Raymond hurt you when we were at the villa this afternoon, but believe me when I say he has been nothing but tender with you.  When he returns to the villa tonight, there will be no one there to help.  Do you understand?"

 

Confusion fogged her brain then cleared when she felt the fear grow from her abdomen.  She felt tears burning at her eyes.  "What does that mean?  Are you saying he's going to hurt me?"

 

"I am saying you should not push him.  As I said before, the conversation the two of you had immediately after Dumont has put him in a very serious mood.  It was very difficult for him when you were married - for you to return to your home when he knew of the potential for you to be harmed.”  Dembe paused and looked up the path toward the main building.  “The past months have been hard for him.  I see the guilt he feels for Luli.  I believe it gnaws at him.  And though he welcomes you in his life, I believe his feelings for you are very strong, complicated, and confuse him at times."

 

The sound of Red's voice from further up the trail had Dembe moving before she realized what was happening.  "Stay here.  Let him find you alone.  If he offers to walk you back, accept.  If he does not, follow within minutes."

 

As Dembe trotted off, she took several deep breaths.  Red's actions had scared her before but she had never been afraid of him.  When Red came into view walking with the Korean, she saw his surprise at seeing her which he quickly masked with apathy.  She wasn't sure if she should speak, so she remained quiet but kept her gaze on him.  

 

When he slowed in front of the bench, she looked into his eyes and attempted a smile.  He spoke to his companion in Korean who laughed then walked on.  When he reached out his hand, she took it without hesitation and stood.  As they walked together, the fear Dembe instilled in her vanished.  Perhaps she was being callow but she believed Red was incapable of physically hurting her.

 

They walked in companionable silence and when their villa came into view she let go of his hand and took hold of his elbow instead, moving close to his side. As she felt his exhale, she looked at his profile.  She didn’t like it when things were difficult between them but knew she shouldn’t be so quick to disregard his behavior from earlier in the day.

 

Immediately after entering the villa, she let go of him while he closed the door.  As Liz stepped into the bedroom, she felt Red's hand grip her bicep and she let out a small sound of surprise.  When she turned to face him, he took hold of her other arm and began pushing her the short distance toward the wall.  Her eyes searched his face, trying to determine the emotion behind his set jaw and dark eyes. At first, she thought he was angry but then she recognized the desire.

 

As her bare shoulders came in contact with the cool wood paneling, she arched forward until Red pressed his body into hers moving her back against the hard surface.  He then used one hand and took hold of the material of her dress and hiked it up to the top of her thighs before placing his leg between hers, pinning her further.  As he brought his knee up, he moved his upper body back slightly and she looked him in the eye. "Red, that's cold."

 

He smirked.  "Is it?"

 

Dembe's warming came back and she didn't push against him, didn't speak; a distinct worry forming in her mind.  She remained silent and looked at his face with what she hoped was serenity.  His body was tense and she could see the pulse in his neck beating rapidly.  She focused on that spot which was just below the small scar she had given him.  She felt his hot breath against her face as he leaned closer, pressing himself more firmly into her.  When she felt his erection, hard and thick against her abdomen, she inhaled sharply and tried not think of the implications.  

 

When he spoke she smelled scotch. "Lizzie, Lizzie.  I am angry with you and part of me does want to punish you."

 

She studied his eyes again and found no malice, nothing to make her believe what he said was true.  She regained her composure but carefully considered her words before speaking, "You're not capable of hurting me, Red.  And that's the real reason for your anger; the anger you feel toward yourself, though you misdirect it at me.  That's the dilemma you feel, isn't it?  That if a situation arises where you need to sacrifice me, you won’t be able to.”  She flattened her hands at her sides against the wall, trying to move as far away from him as possible.  “And that makes you vulnerable."

 

His eyes became darker still, his lips forming a straight line as he pressed his thigh firmly against her.  She felt her nipples grow taught and the heat at her center build.  She ignored her physical reaction to the pressure of the touch and lowered her voice, “Why are you doing this?  Is there any doubt in your mind about what I want from you?  That I want you to make love to me?”

 

When he closed his eyes, she spoke again,  “But not like this, Red.  Not like this.  Not when you're angry.  I don’t think it’s what you want either."

 

He remained perfectly still for a number of seconds and his breathing was quiet but appeared labored.  When he opened his eyes, they glistened in the soft light and his voice was deep and raw, “Lizzie.”

 

She brought her hand to the side of his face and pressed into the indention behind his earlobe with the tip of her index finger.  Something dark inside of her, the part that wanted him to not be gentle made her speak her next words.  "At least, not our first time."  When he trembled, she dropped her hand from his face and maneuvered it between their chests, pushing him back gently.  "I'm emotionally exhausted and my neck hurts.  I need to sleep."

 

As she stepped around him he spoke, the emotion in his voice stopped her in her tracks.  "I'm sorry, Lizzie.  Do forgive me."

 

Tears filled her eyes and she turned to face his back before placing a hand on his shoulder.  "I understand more than you think I do.  You're not the only one who fights for control at times.  I accept your apology.  And I'm sorry for this morning.  I should not have undressed in front of you."

 

She moved from him and walked to the dresser, pulling out her night clothes before making her way to the bathroom.  Before she closed the door, she heard him say, "You may undress in front of me at any time, sweetheart.  And certainly don't ever apologize for that."  The lilt in his voice made her smile.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Lizzie have a chat in the villa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take a moment to acknowledge that the official nbcBlacklist tumblr likes Lizzington fic. Here’s a link to the tumblr post where nbcBlacklist commented in case you haven’t seen it. Scroll down to the 5th and 6th like/comment from the bottom.  
> http://lasturlwastakenagain.tumblr.com/post/74793652666/i-bet-dembe-writes-his-own-fan-fics-of-red-and-lizzie
> 
> Also, I haven't taken time to respond to all the comments for chapter 6 as I've been working away on chapters 7 and 8, but please do know that I have read each and every word and appreciate the feedback. Please let me know what you think of this chapter as well.

Once she exited the bathroom, Red appeared from the main room carrying a bottled water. He had removed his vest and dress shirt leaving him in a pristine white undershirt which was still tucked into his suit pants. She smiled briefly when she saw his bare feet.

He spoke as he approached her. "Have you taken any pain relievers?"

"Um, no, not tonight."

He reached out his hand and dropped two pills into her cupped palm. "Here, take these. One is oxycodone and the other is a muscle relaxant, metaxalone. I'll take a shower and give these some time to work then massage your neck."

"You don't have to do that. I'll be okay."

Red tilted his head at her. "You said you were in pain."

"I am but it's not that bad. I know you have to be tired. I'm sure the pills will work fine. You need rest too." She placed the medication in her mouth and took the water bottle from his hand, their fingers brushing. As she tilted her head up, she saw Red's eyes travel down her body and she suddenly felt bare in her tank and sleep shorts. He had never looked at her in quite that way before, not even when he had her backed against the wall earlier or when she walked toward him that morning without wearing clothes.

"Nonsense. The spasms need to stretched, Lizzie, or you will be in a worse condition tomorrow. Now stay awake for thirty minutes or so." He rubbed his chin and said, "I need to shave or it wouldn't take me that long." He paused looking into her eyes and she knew he was considering, thinking. When he spoke, his voice was much deeper, “I am sorry about earlier. You gave me a lot to think about today and when I saw you with Price, I didn’t handle it well. I’m normally not a jealous man but you make me feel emotions I thought long dead.”

Liz managed to nod but couldn’t find words, his admission surprising her.

As he stepped closer, bringing his hand to her face, she leaned ever so slightly into his touch. “Lizzie, I would never physically hurt you. I would never force you… never.”

She nodded again then managed to speak, “I know.”

Red moved forward again, placing his other hand on her hip. “What I said earlier, in front of Dembe, I know I hurt you. I meant to hurt you. And I wish I could say that will never happen again but I won’t make that vow. That’s a part of me I’ve never been able to fully restrain. It doesn’t mean I care for you any less. In fact, it usually means I care more than I thought possible. You gave me your expectations early this afternoon and that’s mine - the only one - that you understand my words will wound you.”

The sudden onset of her tears made her blink. “I’m not sure I understand.”

He leaned in closer still. “Though nothing about our relationship will be typical, I commit to you Lizzie.”

She nodded at him again. Still not processing the depth of his words. “I need time to think.”

He gave her a small grin and placed a kiss on her cheek before wiping her tears with his thumbs. “Of course, though I would like to give you something else to assist in your decision.”

“What?”

As he lowered his mouth to hers she reached for his side with her free hand. When his lips began their push and slide against hers, she dropped the water bottle and moved that hand to his neck, her fingernails sliding into the hair at his nape. This kiss was much like the one in New Orleans but quickly became deeper and more urgent. As his tongue stroked her own and searched her mouth, she tightened her grip at his waist. She had never known a passion as sensual as his and it made her feel wanton and more aroused than she could ever remember. If his kisses did this to her she couldn’t even begin to imagine how she would feel if he had access to her body. As he pulled her flush against him, she tilted her head farther up which caused a sharp pain to shoot up her neck.

She gasped and her hand immediately shot to the back of her head. “Ow.”

He stepped back, his brow furrowed and he placed his hand on top of her own, holding her neck steady. After a long pause he spoke, “Although I was far from finished, I hope I proved convincing?”

Liz stared up at him, her hand still firmly gripping his side. She took a step forward wanting to continue the kiss but he stopped her by squeezing her shoulder and holding her away. “No more, Lizzie. You’re hurt.”

She tried but couldn’t suppress her grin. “You don’t play fair.”

He grinned back. “Never have, sweetheart, never have.”

“Well, then I’m not sure. I guess you could say it was nice.”

He quirked his eyebrows. “Nice, you say?”

“Mm hmm. Nice.”

His gaze became predatory and she watched his eyes grow darker and his mouth tighten. She felt the upturn of her lips fall when he grumbled, “Nice.”

She swallowed before saying, “It was better than nice, Red, and you know it.” He continued staring at her and she did her best to determine what he was thinking. She felt her flush growing as she began to speak again, “I’ve never been kissed like… you make me feel more than… it’s just so different I don’t know how to...” She looked down embarrassed wishing she had the courage and the vocabulary to explain.

His arms wrapped around her and he pulled her to him. “Sweetheart, I wasn’t trying… a simple yes to the question would have sufficed. Don’t be embarrassed, Lizzie. Never be embarrassed with me.”

Liz sighed. If only communicating with him were easier. If only he weren’t so much more experienced than her in every single way, this would be easier. After he held her a moment longer she spoke, “I’m okay. Really. Yes, the kiss was convincing but I still need time.”

Red pulled back from her then placed a quick kiss on her cheek. “I’m a very patient man. Take all the time you need. Just don’t flirt with any more men while this is undecided, agreed?”

She squinted her eyes. “I wasn’t flirting. I was doing my job. I was simply trying to learn more about the bidding process, since you won’t tell me, and I wanted to…” When she met his eyes she could tell he was clearly amused. “What’s so funny?”

“You, my dear. You have Price eating out of the palm of your hand. There’s no telling what secrets he would be willing to spill and you haven’t got a clue.”

Liz’s irritation grew. She gently punched his arm. “Then teach me, Red.”

He grew serious. “No. I don’t want you ever trading your body for information, Lizzie.”

She crossed her arms. “Good grief. That’s not what I’m talking about. Did you really think that’s what I meant? I just want to know how the bidding works. I have no desire to have sex with Price. Do you not get that? That’s what I tried to explain to you this morning. I want to sleep with you. No one else.”

The second the last sentence came out of her mouth she felt the blush again and wanted nothing more than to cover her face with her hands as the various images of exactly what she wanted Red to do to her swept through her mind. Instead she looked down and shook her head.

She saw his lower body move, as if he was pulled forward by her words alone. He dropped his voice to its most seductive tone when he spoke, “What I could make you feel, Lizzie. What we could feel together. The intensity. The pleasure. The connection. What you already make me feel, without even trying." As he took hold of her hand she looked back up at him. "Just so you know, if you keep making statements such as that, my patience will wear thin and I will pull out all stops, understand? I will do my best to seduce you, to make you mine.” He dropped her hand then slid his hands up and down her arms a few times before kissing the top of her head.

As he walked away, she watched as his hands went to his pants to unfasten his belt before he disappeared through the bathroom doorway. After taking several deep breaths and a long sip of the water she retrieved from the floor, she proceeded to put her dress away and organized her things somewhat before crawling into bed. She heard movement in the bathroom and scooted over, well onto Red's side of the bed, in attempt to see if the bathroom door was shut. It was open and that made her curious. Red's grooming was impeccable yet she had only seen him look at his appearance on one occasion, in the hat shop when he was trying on fedoras. She then thought of him shaving which peaked her curiosity. She pushed the covers back and climbed from the bed then walked to the bathroom, stopping just outside the door. She spoke using a tone she hoped would not startle him, "Red, may I come in? I need my lotion."

His reply came a moment later, "Of course, Lizzie."

As she stepped around the corner, she saw him lathering his face with a shaving brush. Her suspicion was confirmed, Raymond Reddington would not use shaving cream from a can. As she moved toward the second sink, designated as hers, Liz searched the granite counter for the blade. After a moment, her eyes found the straight razor sitting on a charcoal towel, the silver of the steel glinting under the vanity lights. While she picked up her bottle of lotion she inhaled the scent of the shave soap and found it to be earthy, woodsy, and a bit spicy, but not overwhelming. "That smells really nice. Where do you get it?"

His eyes met hers in the mirror then he nodded toward the wood bowl. "I'm not sure. India, I think. Luli always took care of that."

This was the first time he had mentioned Luli since her death and Liz searched his reflection for any hint of the pain or guilt that Dembe had told her Red felt. Finding no obvious emotion, she sat her lotion down and picked up the bowl. She carefully tipped it to read the label on the bottom.

"Looks like it is made in India and distributed to the U.K." As she sat the bowl down, she watched Red pick up the razor. When he slid the metal along his throat, she held her breath. He made a couple more swipes before looking down to rinse the blade under the tap.

When he looked back up, his eyes met hers in the mirror again. "There's no need to hold your breath, Lizzie, I'm not going to cut my own throat. Please do feel free to continue to stare through; your eyes are exceptionally blue and lascivious right now."

She felt herself flush and when she saw herself in the mirror, she turned an even deeper shade. She found him incredibly sexy standing there with drops of water on his undershirt, his face covered in ivory sandalwood soap, and his belt hanging loose from the pants that were only fastened with the zipper. And she knew that he knew exactly what she was thinking. His kiss had been very purposeful.

Liz quickly focused on the lotion again and sat on the corner of the large tub. She applied the moisturizer to her legs, sneaking side glances at him trying her best not to be obvious. When she was done with her legs, she stood and moved on to her arms as he finished the last two spots, his chin and upper lip.

After thoroughly rinsing the blade, he stepped by her and she watched him turn the shower on in the mirror. Their eyes met again when he stepped back. As he pulled his shirt over his head, she knew she should leave the room but found herself immobile. In the next instant she spotted the scar on his chest that she had failed to see in the dim light of the moon early that morning. The skin was slightly pink and the wound appeared to have been right over his heart. She turned and faced him, her hand automatically touching the smooth flat skin. "Marrakech?"

Red nodded. "Yes, Lizzie, Marrakech. A story for another time."

As his hands went to his zipper she continued to watch him all the while asking herself what the hell she was doing. As he slid his pants down his legs, stepping out of them, she found herself studying his bright white boxer briefs. She found herself looking for a label for some odd reason, trying to discern the brand. As his hands went to the waistband they stilled. When she looked up at his face he spoke, "This doesn't bother me at all, Lizzie, but I don't want to embarrass you. I'm actually quite proud of my anatomy, having been rather well endowed, but I don't think you want that much knowledge just yet. The choice is yours however."

She took a step back and then another before speaking, "I'm sorry. I... You're right." She turned and walked away then paced the bedroom a couple of times before climbing into the bed and turning on the television. She had always felt the sexual tension between them, bubbling under the surface, but now it was stronger and she had no one to blame but herself. She thought of his kisses and the words he had spoken to her earlier and those three sentences that she had replayed in her mind since New Orleans, "How I want you, Lizzie. To be inside of you . A part of you."

She forced those memories from her mind and flipped through the channels stopping when she recognized a favorite old movie, His Girl Friday. A number of minutes later, Liz realized Red was spending a good deal of time in the shower and her thoughts began to roam to a place she knew she shouldn’t go. When she began to envision him stroking himself, she climbed from the bed and went to the terrace. The night held a chill and she removed a large towel from the pool cabinet and settled in the chair Red had occupied earlier in the day, bending her legs and hugging them to her chest.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz gets that massage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I haven't taken the time to respond to the reviews and I do apologize. I've been trying my best to finish this story and it's been giving me a good deal of difficulty and taking a large amount of time. I do greatly appreciate the feedback though and hope you let me know what you think of this chapter as well. One more chapter after this one and if I can stop hitting the delete key and rewriting every single sentence, I will post it soon.

If anyone had told her this time last year how different her life would be she would not have believed them - part of a FBI special ops team, divorced from a man who had lied to her their entire marriage, Sam gone, Raymond Reddington.  She wondered how she had allowed herself to grow attached to a man such as him; how she had allowed herself to need him more than she had needed anyone since she was a small child.  He may have manipulated his way into her life but she had allowed him to maneuver his way into her heart.  In fact, once her marriage was over she welcomed Red into her thoughts and found herself yearning for his attention when he had been absent for more than a couple of days.  

The way Red dismissed her at times hurt a great deal.  She questioned why he wouldn't share his plans with her and wondered if it was about his lack of trust, due to secrets he was fearful of her learning, or if he found her inadequate in some way.  As her mind raced on, she caught herself yawning and felt her body relaxing despite the chill of the night air.  She sat back in the chair and curled her legs to her side as she stared at the moonlight reflecting off the pool's surface.  

The second her eyes began to droop and her head nodded forward she heard Red.  "Lizzie, what are you doing out here?  It's cold. Come back inside."

She turned her head and looked up at him.  He wore a fresh undershirt and light blue pajama pants.  He grinned down at her and said, "You're a bit drugged, my dear.  Come."  He bent over and took hold of her arms, helping her to her feet before stepping to her side and sliding an arm around her waist.  As she took a step, she faltered, her upper body moving before her feet. In one swift motion he lifted her and she tucked her head into his body, placing her lips at his neck.

"I like this feeling.  I mean I'm thinking but it’s easier somehow.  That's kind of nice."

He chuckled as he carried her to the bedroom then laid her on the bed.  "Roll over, Lizzie."

"You really don't have to do this.  Nothing hurts now.  In fact, I feel really good."

"Over, Lizzie."

She complied then brought her hands up, placing them under her cheek as she turned her head to face him.  "You smell really nice -- like the rain when it falls on a really hot day."

He smiled at her as he reached for her hair, pushing it to the opposite shoulder.  The moment his fingers pressed into her flesh, she let out an audible sigh.  

"Any pain with the pressure?"

Liz closed her eyes. “No pain, it’s just tight.”

She felt Red’s warm fingers prodding at her cool skin as he spoke, “Here, right?”

Liz answered, “Mmm hmm, right there.”

He continued his ministrations and Liz began to feel herself drifting away and forced her eyes wide open.  If someone was willing to devote this much attention to her, she wanted to be awake to enjoy the sensation.  She watched his arm working, the sleeve of his t-shirt pulling up to reveal a glimpse of the dark ink of the tattoos on his bicep.  Liz had briefly noticed the images that morning and remembered seeing the photographs in Red's FBI file -- a spider peeling away layers of a spade with two smaller spiders below. She hadn't thought much about the significance at the time but now wondered if the meaning had something to do with his family -- the three of them, Red, wife and daughter.  She felt inexplicably sad for him and wished she knew more about his past.

After several more minutes, she felt boneless and began to fight to stay awake.  Without warning or thought she turned to her back and watched his hand hovering in the air between them.  The moment she met his eyes, he reached out and began to trace her left clavicle. It was a ghost of a touch, but felt incredibly intimate and caring. “Red.” She paused then asked, “You care about me?”

He gave her a quick grin before replying, “Well now, that’s a silly question.”

She peered at him. “I won’t ask you why you care, I know you won’t tell me that. But I do want to know how you feel.  Is it a physical attraction?  Because I’ve seen some of the women you’ve been with and I’m perfectly aware I pale by comparison.  It has to be something else, right?”

His hand stilled before he moved it up to splay his fingers across her throat, stroking the soft skin.  His reply rumbled in his chest, “You are my everything, Elizabeth.  You are my life raft on an endless sea, the single bright start on a pitch black night, you are my very breath.”

She studied his eyes thinking how poetic a man he was and smiled.  His eyes were soft, inviting, and when the corners of his mouth turned up she felt a clench in her chest.  At this moment, she believed his words with all her being but desperately wanted to hear him say he loved her.

Liz wasn’t sure if it was because of the medication, his words, or the way he looked at her in that beseeching way of his, but she felt sure, more sure than she could ever remember feeling.  She reached out and took hold of his shirt and began to pull him closer.  He adjusted his position leaning more on his hand, stopping his progression when she flattened her palm against his chest. Her voice was soft but strong, “I love you, Red.”

As his fingers at her throat tightened slightly, she saw the glint of tears in his eyes; when she heard his breath hitch he dropped his chin and she could no longer see his face.  For a number of seconds all remained quiet and Liz wasn’t sure what to say or do.  She looked at her hand on his chest, found the slight feel of his heartbeat and began to concentrate on the soft rhythm.  When she felt a drop of moisture at the valley of her breasts, she instantly knew it was a tear from Red.  The sharp pang of emotion she felt was indescribable.  All the pain, loss, betrayal, and loneliness of her life held no significance any longer.  Although he seemed incapable of saying the words, she knew how this man felt for her.  He loved her in a way that very people ever experienced and despite all of his flaws, she loved him back.  “Red, show me how you feel.”

He moved back from her and she searched his face as he stood, she was confused until he reached for his shirttail and pulled it over his head.  In the next instant, he turned off the lamp at her bedside and was reaching for the remote to the television.  She sat up abruptly watching him move.  He turned off the tv as he walked toward the curtained window then drew back the dark material to allow the full moon to cast a soft glow into the bedroom.  She felt a flutter in her stomach; leave it to Raymond Reddington to set the scene.  

When he approached her and sat back on the bed, his eyes were dark pools and she felt the twitch of her muscles deep inside and grabbed a handful of sheet in response.  He raised his hand to her face, gently stroking her jaw. “Are you on birth control?”

Liz shook her head before answering, “No.”

“And I don’t have protection, Lizzie, so we need to make a decision.”

She felt a well of fear before she checked her mental calendar; she had never wanted a biological child and knew her cycle extremely well.

His gaze was at its most intense when he spoke next.  “We can have intercourse and you can trust me, knowing that’s not full proof, or we can do something else that will be equally pleasurable."

Liz reached forward and began to trace the planes of his chest, her fingers skating through the smattering of hair.  She found this conversation growing long as thoughts of his skin against hers played like a movie in her mind.  Liz traced his nipple with her index finger while speaking, "Pleasurable but not nearly as satisfying or as meaningful.”

As his tongue darted out licking his bottom lip, she sat back against the headboard, keeping her hand on his chest before sliding it to the back of his shoulder, pulling him closer.  She wanted their first time to be about love, not fulfilling desire.  Liz thought carefully, again counting days in her head.  “And there’s a third option, my period is due in two days. The likelihood of my getting pregnant is nil. I ovulated two weeks ago.  My cycle is clockwork.”

He studied her then said, “I haven’t had unprotected sex in twenty years, Lizzie.”  

“And that’s something I’ve never experienced.”

He cocked his head to the right.  “You’re absolutely sure?”

“I am.”

She could see the gears turning in his head and knew his answer before he spoke, the slight twitch of his eyebrow giving him away, “No, Lizzie.  I won’t chance anything that could cause me to lose you and that complication would mean we could not be together; a child deserves a stable home, not one on the run.”

Liz sighed her disapproval. "Red, trust me with this.  I want you and though the thought of alternate choices is intriguing that's not what this is about.  Don't make me beg."

As she began to close the distance between them, he kept his head still.  He was processing her words at what appeared to be a snail's pace.  She began to drop featherlight kisses along his jaw, the smoothness of his skin making her lips tingle.  She stopped briefly to press her cheek against his, enjoying the fresh scent of his lingering shower and shave.  Liz began to feel an ache for him. She pulled back finding his eyes. "I love you.  Please, Red."

His tone was deep but the volume barely a whisper, "I can't lose you, Lizzie.  I've lost too much. If we do this, it's for the rest of my life."

Liz placed her hand behind his neck, pulling him into a sweet kiss.  At first he didn't respond but after a little persistence he began to kiss her back before breaking away and saying, "Lizzie."

She gave him a small smile.  "You have me.  And I have you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The physical relationship begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating change to mature for this chapter.
> 
> This is the first time I've written a sex scene and found it incredibly difficult, but at least I seemed to have moved past my embarrassment (strike that, no I haven't). Feedback on this chapter is especially appreciated. 
> 
> And a special thank you to selinabln.tumblr.com for her words of encouragement and advice. If you haven't seen her blog, check it out, she has an amazing talent for making gifs.

Red moved forward and dropped his head down before she had time to analyze the expression on his face.  He kissed her neck and nibbled at the hollow of her throat before alternating the swipe of his tongue with suction.  Liz heard him murmur "Lizzie" and "my love" numerous times, and she felt completely overtaken by need - the power of Raymond Reddington's mouth and his rich, sultry voice.  She took hold of his biceps and squeezed them tightly as he moved to the crevice above her collarbone.  She found it nearly impossible to reciprocate his touches, let alone offer anything to give him pleasure in return.

A few moments later she spoke his name sounding breathless to her own ears, and he began to kiss his way back up, stopping just before kissing her mouth.  He searched her eyes, looking at her in the same way he had on numerous occasions and she realized he had shown his love for her from the very beginning.  If she had only taken the time to truly analyze that look.  

Liz traced his chin with her finger before placing it at his lips.  "I don't want to disappoint you. And after the last few minutes, I'm terribly afraid I will."

He removed her hand from his face and claimed her mouth with his; the raw need he expresssed had her gripping his shoulders then his back within seconds.  She became lost in the feel of him as the heat between them continued to grow, she quickly became impatient, wanting more control, wanting him to touch her -- his mouth not quite enough.  Liz pushed him back as she brought her legs up, then she shoved him up fully onto the bed before crawling on top of him and straddling his hips.  

When she met his eyes they sparkled and he grinned.  "How you believe you could ever be a disappointment, Lizzie, is complete and utter nonsense."

She smirked back at him.  "You kissed me like that on purpose. You knew... how did you know?"

"You're very sexual.  Any man paying attention can see that.  Fortunately for me, I'm going to be the first one to truly experience what you have to offer."

His arrogant reply annoyed her and she ground her pelvis into his groin.  When he closed his eyes and hummed, her irritation disappeared -- the power she felt over him, tugging at her core.  She leaned forward and kissed his chest before working her way to his mouth.  She kissed him slowly, savoring the warmth of his breath and the movement and pressure of his lips and tongue.  As his hands slipped under her shirt and stroked her back, she let out a soft moan.  She felt his smile against her mouth, and Liz sat back looking down at him.  She crossed her arms and removed her tank, his grin disappearing as his gaze went to her chest.  

Men had looked at her with lust, but this was the first time she saw reverence.  When his hand reached up to touch her, her eyelids slid shut and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.  As his fingers skimmed the underside of her breast, she tightened her hold on him.  

“You are incredibly beautiful, Lizzie.  I’ve imagined this, dreamt of this, but the reality is so much more.”

Liz opened her eyes again as she leaned forward, his hand finally making firm contact with her bare skin. As he cupped her breast, his thumb rolling over her nipple, her gasp was swallowed by his kiss and before she registered the movement, she was on her back with his weight gently on top of her.  He never broke the kiss and it felt to Liz that his touch was everywhere; a palm gently pressing into her abdomen, his hand gripping the bone that jutted out at her hip, a stroke behind her knee before a squeeze on her thigh, his fingers at her throat, his hand alternately kneading her breasts.  

She felt him, pressing hard against her pelvis and she knew she would be bruised there the next day.  When his mouth moved away from hers, sliding down to latch onto her nipple, she found herself grabbing at his shoulders, her body on edge.  As he pleasured her, she began to squirm then pant before finally forming a coherent word, “Red.”  She heard a deep hum, much like a growl in response and found herself breathing harder.  “Red, you have to stop.”

Liz didn’t realize how afraid she sounded until she saw the look of concern on his face.  He returned to her eye level and began wiping the tears she hadn’t realized she had shed.  “Lizzie.  Sweetheart.  Hey.” 

She hugged him to her as tightly as the taut muscles of her arms would allow. “I need a minute.  I knew you would be good at this but I never expected to be overwhelmed.”

He placed gentle kisses into her hair then on her cheek before meeting her eyes.  She was afraid he would be smug but his face was kind, his mouth straight, his lips puffy from all those well placed kisses.  

Red gently stroked her hair, his fingers pressing into her scalp.  When he began to whisper words of devotion, she closed her eyes and concentrated on his voice.  A moment later, she realized she was missing words as she focused on relaxing her body  “Yes, Lizzie… I want… how you… my sweet, sweet love…”

At “love” she reopened her eyes and moved her hand to the side of his neck.  She knew he used the term as an endearment, rather than a declaration, but it still made her want him.  As his mouth worked along her jaw, she reached for the waistband of his pants.  “Take them off.   Now.”

As he removed his pants, she shimmed out of her shorts and before she had time to lay back fully he was on top of her again, sheltering her with his warmth.  As he pulled up the bedding to cover them, Liz began exploring his mouth, her teeth pulling at his bottom lip.

When she felt his hand slide down her body, she held her breath.  As his fingers began to slide through her wet folds, she exhaled and involuntarily arched her lower back, moaning before whimpering, “Red.”  

They reached for him at the same time, her hand circling first.  She gripped him hard and was surprised at his heat and girth, his earlier statement about being well endowed echoing in her ears.  She swallowed and searched his face, his eyes tightly shut in a near grimace.  She stroked her hand down then back up and his hand tightened on hers, “Easy, sweetheart, easy.” 

She dropped her hand away and a few seconds later, he met her eyes.  “You’re not the only one who is overwhelmed.  I won’t last long and may have to make this up to you later.”

“How you believe you could ever be a disappointment is complete and utter nonsense.”

His deep laugh was quiet and she felt the sound as much as heard it.  He kissed her smile away with a sensual longing that made her near exhausted body burn and coil like a tightening spring.  He began to slide in ever so slowly, stretching and filling her and they both groaned.  He felt incredibly hot and smooth and she struggled to keep her eyes open, wanting to see him, needing to see him.  He stilled for a moment and she purposefully contracted around him, watching him close his eyes at the sensation.  After taking a deep breath he opened his eyes and studied her then moved again, immersing himself further.   

She exhaled as she closed her eyes, arching her neck and turning her head, the feeling stopping just short of painful.  Liz heard herself mumble, “Oh my God,” then “Red,” as she gripped the back of his neck, her fingers sliding in the short hair of his head.

She felt his light kisses at the shell of her ear and then the tip of his tongue.  “Am I hurting you, Lizzie?”

It took a moment before she could answer, whispering, “No.”

“Look at me.”

Liz turned to him then opened her eyes as he placed his mouth on hers.  She tried to focus on the kiss but could only feel him deep inside of her.  He kissed her neck then down to her breast and she said his name over and over again not understanding why he wasn’t moving.  

When he finally brought his head up to meet her eyes again, he spoke, “We’re almost there, sweetheart.”

It took her a second to follow his meaning and as realization dawned, he moved his hips again and she felt herself breaking into a million pieces as he pushed in all the way.  Long seconds later, she wasn’t aware of anything other than having felt a familiar yet completely new sensation.

“Lizzie, darling, look at me.”

She met his dark eyes as he said, “That was beautiful.  I will never tire of watching you, Lizzie. Never.”

If she hadn’t already been flushed, she’s sure she wouldn’t have been able to hide her embarrassment then realized she must have given herself away as he said, “Never be embarrassed, Lizzie.  I want you to feel everything.  I want to share this with you.”

She felt a brim of tears and he took her hand, interlocking their fingers.  A moment later she smiled and he kissed her chin before dropping his head and devoting attention to the juncture of her neck and shoulder.  When he kissed her again, it was with a different, deeper hunger, his tongue thrusting into her mouth, mimicking what she knew he he wanted to do with the push of his hips. 

After breaking the kiss, she heard his heavy breathing as she trailed her hands across his back and sucked at the small scar she had given him months ago.  As she clutched his ass with both hands she whispered, “Move, Red.”

He growled into her ear as he ground into her before setting a slow steady pace.  She felt the tightness quickly building again and lifted her hips to meet his thrusts.  When he said, “Elizabeth, honey,” she focused on his face watching his reaction to her different movements and touches, quickly discovering what he liked best.

When he opened his eyes, she knew he was there but holding himself back, waiting for her.  As she began to feel the rolling of her muscles clenching him, she said, “Love you.”  

He followed close behind and she watched his nostrils flair and his lips part while he exhaled loudly before dropping his face, placing a kiss on her shoulder. 

After his breathing returned to normal, he moved his arm under her and rolled them to their sides as she hitched her leg over his hip and burrowed her face into his neck.  He smelled of them, a combination of his sandlewood shaving cream and her melon body wash, and she wanted to devote that scent and her feeling of sheer bliss to her memory forever.  As she began to comb her fingers through his chest hair, he pulled her tight against him.  “Lizzie.”

She kissed his Adam's apple before replying, "Raymond."

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been great fun and I hope all of you have enjoyed reading as much as I have writing. Thank you for all the comments and kudos.

Eight days later the bidding was done, the Chinese plans were in hand, and they were on Red’s jet still several hours from D.C. Liz sat in the chair opposite him, her feet propped in his lap as he alternated between massaging each instep with a thoroughness that made her so relaxed she slumped well into her seat. His attention was in the book resting on the arm of his chair and he hadn’t looked at her in well over fifteen minutes.

She was worried about going home; wondering what their relationship would be like, how complicated life would become. She had grown accustomed to sleeping next to him; she craved his warmth, his whispered words late at night, and most of all his lovemaking. She had never felt more cherished, more alive, or part of something so much larger than herself.

Liz pulled her feet away and walked to the small kitchenette at the front of the plane. She poured herself a glass of wine then returned to her seat, turning the chair where she could only see Red from her peripheral vision. She noticed his glance in her direction before turning back to his book.

After several minutes of contemplation, Liz’s worry grew to full fledged fear and when Dembe caught her eye, giving her a hint of a smile, she felt the tears burning. He sat straighter and looked at Red. When he looked back at her, she gave him a slight shake of her head and mouthed, “No, please.”

Red’s quiet voice startled her. “What’s this? Secrets between you two?”

Liz watched Dembe and after a long pause Red spoke again, a short sentence in Dembe’s native language.

Dembe answered with a firmness to his voice Liz had not heard before, “Raymond, you are focusing your attention on the wrong person and for the wrong reason. I will check in with Edward so you are not distracted further.”

As Dembe headed toward the cockpit, Liz wiped at the tears on her face and clasped her hands tightly together in her lap. She cursed her emotional state wishing there was somewhere for her to go so she could be alone for awhile.

She felt Red’s gaze and reached for her wine, taking a long sip before setting the glass down again. Liz felt ridiculous; she should be able to talk to him but was afraid she would sound like a needy immature woman.

“Lizzie?”

His warm tone caused the tears to start up again and she mumbled, “Dammit,” as she wiped her eyes with an extra cocktail napkin.

“Sweetheart, come here.”

Liz looked at him for the first time and sighed. “I’m sorry, these tears aren’t about you. You haven’t done anything. You’ve been wonderful.”

Red closed his book and held out his hand. “Lizzie, come here.”

She reached, grasping his fingers, and he took hold of her hand then pulled until she was firmly sitting across his lap.

“If I haven’t done anything then perhaps that’s the problem. Inaction is as much a -- ”

Liz interrupted him with a brief kiss then scooted until her bottom fell slightly between his thighs so she was just above his eye level. She began to trace his ear with her index finger before leaning in and placing her lips at his temple. As his hand trailed along her spine, her worries subsided somewhat.

“Talk to me, Lizzie.”

She smiled softly, meeting his eyes, “I love you, Raymond Reddington.”

He smiled in turn, a full bright smile that warmed her from the inside out. “Do you, now?”

“Yep, the Concierge of Crime seduced me, made me fall hopelessly in love with him.”

“Is that right?”

“Mmmhmm. He’s really quite something. Irresistible.” Liz moved two fingers under his collar and stroked the front of his neck. “He takes my breath away, figuratively and literally.”

“Though I’m rather enjoying this, you are attempting to distract me. Talk to me, Lizzie.”

The upturn of Liz’s lips fell and a worry line creased her brow. “What happens now? When we’re back home.”

“What do you want to happen?”

She watched his eyes, trying to determine if he was giving the slightest inkling as to what he wanted but she couldn’t see any indication of his thoughts.  Liz said, “I don’t want to go home. I want to go away with you, to a place where we can be us and not worry about the FBI, or blacklisters, or whoever it is you’re looking for.”

As Red took hold of her hand and began running his thumb over her scar she continued, “I miss you and were not even apart yet. What am I supposed to do tonight when I have to go to bed alone?”

He kissed her cheek and let go of her hand moving to hold the side of her neck, pressing the pads of his fingers into a long tendon. He gave her a quick grin before saying, “We don’t have to be apart, Lizzie. I want you with me; that is if you don’t think you’ll grow tired of changing your abode every couple of days.”

“What about Cooper? And...”

“Anyone who truly knows me is already aware I’m in love with you. There’s no hiding that. Certainly not now. Of course, we can pretend that our relationship has not evolved if that’s your preference.”

Liz froze, her eyes rimmed with tears. This was the first time Red had said anything about loving her. She dropped her eyes, focusing on the top of his tie, and just let herself feel for a moment before she met his gaze again. She felt her head begin to move back and forth unsure of how to respond. “I…”

Red’s eyes narrowed and be brought his other hand up, placing it on the other side of head, stilling her movements.  “I do love you, Lizzie. With everything I am; all the bad in me, and most certainly with all the good you’ve reawakened.”

Her tears came in a rush and she tried to push back the sob she felt building but failed.

He pulled her into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I should have shared that days ago, but couldn’t bring myself to say the words. Forgive me.”

She cried into the juncture of his neck as he held her, stroking her back and whispering her name.

After her tears dried, he spoke, “Why don’t we go to dear old Frederick’s tonight and come up with a plan. There’s much to discuss, several decisions for you to make. Being known, even on a limited basis, as Raymond Reddington’s partner - lover - will change your life, Lizzie.”

She smiled. “I’m ready for change. I’m ready to be happy. I am happy.”

He crooked his neck and kissed her forehead. “So am I, so am I.”

**Author's Note:**

> * Lizzington Blog: RedandLizzie.tumblr.com  
> * Lizzington Fanfic Rec Blog: RedXLizzie.tumblr.com  
> 


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